An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
