Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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