Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
