Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
