A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
