don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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