Kiss
Puke
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
