i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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