well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
