we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
