are you still at the devil's house?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
