I want to stick my p in your. b.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
