I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
