I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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