It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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