do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
