She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
