i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
