Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
