Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
