I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
