He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
