Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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