Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
