I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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