"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
