i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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