We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
