I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
