Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just google imaged poop.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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