The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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