He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
