Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
