i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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