Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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