so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
