I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
