I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
