Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
