I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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