What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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