Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
