jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
