I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
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