It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
