My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
