Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
