My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
