The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
it was like eating out sand paper
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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