Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
