Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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