I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so let's talk penis.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
