When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How external is "for external use only"?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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