I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
