you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
