so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
