just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love black thongs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They took my balls.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
